The Dim Sum Family

Friday, April 16, 2010

If I could turn back time

I'm not the kind of the person who dreamt about the big wedding or the huge house or the expensive car. In those sorts of things, I just took things as they came and always just wanted to be happy. The one thing that I had always imagined for myself, though, was to be married to a great guy, live in a nice place with 2children and no pets, of course. Just your regular yuppie couple with the yuppie kids.

I always imagined 2 because I always wanted them to have each other. Just as I am with my sisters, they would never be alone in the world and would be best friends for life.

It's funny how life throws you for a loop. So, here we are, 45 years old, 46 this year, one year has passed since we got Keira and we are now able to apply to adopt for another child again, according to the Norwegian law.

What should we do? Shall we go for another one?

With a full time job and days which seem to end to quickly, I see how much time, patience and energy it takes to raise a child. I'm still young...well, at least I feel young, but I get worried that I won't be feeling this way all the time. How will I be in my 50's? God, I even hate saying that word, "fify." It's a ways away, but sometimes it feels like it's just right around the corner.

Let's say we apply. By the time we finish our paper work, probably about 3-4 months of this year has gone by. The wait in China for a child is approximately 4 years, which puts us close to 50.

Is it fair to have a child when you're 50 years old? Am I going to be too tired? Am I going to have enough patience? Will I be too old? Just enunciating the word "fifty" makes me feel like a grandparent already and I've just embarked on the road of parenthood.

I wish that we had started our family earlier then we maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament. I mean, really, why did I think that I had all the time in the world "once upon a time"? Why did I think that I wasn't going to get older back then?

We have waffled about this back and forth. When we realized that it would take 4 years to wait for a child, we said last night that we wouldn't go for it. Am I going to regret this 5 years from now? Will Keira be sad that she doesn't have a brother or sister? Are we being selfish for not giving that to her? Or, are we doing the right thing by her for not having another child?

I wish that I was 5 years younger. I wish that time would stop. I wish that we could start over.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday fun

We got together with three couples from the Oslo area who had gone to China together with us to pick up a child. It was so nice to see everyone and also to see how the kids had progressed and grown in one year. We had lunch at Anita and Arne's house and then went to the park to enjoy a fabulously sunny day!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Some parting 2010 Easter pics

Here's some more Easter pics from last week...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Back to the Grindstone

Ahhh...yes, the second day back at work after the Easter holidays. I am quite sleepy right now as I'm writing this post.

It's difficult to get up at 5:30am when we've been used to getting up around 8:00am - 8:30am every day, lollygagging around and just enjoying a late breakfast.

On Tuesday, I got up at 5:30am...barely. I think I hit the snooze button a couple of times. Yesterday, I got up at 5:40am and today, I finally dragged my lazy, tired ass out of bed at 5:45am. I could barely keep my eyes open as I was driving to work and here I am, with my hands tightly wrapped around a cup of coffee, wishing desperately that the caffeine would kick in, only to feel my eyelids drooping down and the the screen swimming in front of me as I try to write this post.

All I can say is thank God it's going to be Friday tomorrow and the next day will be Saturday. All I can think about is SLEEEEEEP. zzzzzzzz....