Too big for my britches

These are my jeans. My jeans with a big, fat rip so wide you can see through to Texas.

How did I find out about this? Well, we were in the grocery store today, in the vegetables section, to be exact and Per comes over to me, leans in and whispers, "do you know that you have a rip in jeans where your butt is?"

I was shocked..What? No. How could that be? I mean, I would have known.

I reached behind me and felt myself. Yes, right, I felt up myself and felt that I had a big rip there. I ask in a panic, "Can you see my butt?

"No," said Per, "it's hidden. it's not that bad."

Ladies, here is a hint. Beware of nice husbands who tell you lies so that you can save face. I believed him and basically brushed it off. I walked around the grocery store and then into the mall,totally oblivious to my anal predicament.

When I got home, curiosity got the better ofme and so I took off my jeans and saw this big, fat rip.

"I don't know how my ass could have gotten that big," I said to Per. "Oh, no,it's because those jeans are really worn. You could probably repair it with a needle and thread." Yeah, right. After seeing the hole, what do you think?

Those jeans have seen its last days. And to those who've seen my butt crack, I hope you enjoyed yourself.