Just a bundle of emotions

It's so weird. We are actually leaving Dortmund on Friday. We've been packing like fiends. It's amazing just how much crap you can accumulate in just a little under two years. We've got 25 boxes so far, plus three bikes, two strollers, workout equipment, bike rack, washer/ dryer and toys, lots of toys. 3 of the boxes belong just to Keira alone. Who rules this house anyway?

Now the big challenge will be to figure out how to get all this stuff in our house. The house that I haven't seen in about 7-8 months. All I remember is that we didn't have enough storage room before, so now what are we going to do?!

Other than the physical activity of packing, I have to say that I am just a bundle of emotions. First of all, I feel a little sad. Don't know why. Especially when I'm not in love with this place. I think it has to do with a closing of a chapter in our lives and then the start of a new chapter...

1. I am going back to work
Yes, the time is up and I am back to work on February 26, the last Friday of the month. I was dragged kicking and screaming into this one year maternity leave and now that it's almost over, I feel so sad.

I will no longer get to spend every waking moment with Keira. She's going to be in the care of another person at daycare, someone other than me.

I've gotten used to waking up at 7:30am with her, feeding her milk, then breakfast, playing together, watching tv together, napping together. We do everything together and now she's going to do things with someone else.

Is this person going to take care of her? Will the person be nice and caring? Will she continue the potty training like I have? Will the other chilcren be nice to her? Is she going to be ok?

Am I going to be able to perform the same way that I did at work? How is the whole work thing going to go when I'm no longer able to spend 24/7 thinking about work? Am I going to kill myself trying to do it all? OMG, the list goes on and on.

2. Daycare
I have such mixed emotions on the whole daycare thing. On the one hand, I know that it's good for her to be with other children her age and to start learning about other things in life besides hanging out with mommy, but at the same time, the control side of me worries about all the habits that she's going to learn...some good, some bad...how do I stop the bad ones and encourgage the good ones?

She'll learn Norwegian and come back being more Norwegian than American. How do I make sure that she gets all the cultures and doesn't just immerse herself in just one?

3. Life in Norway
It's been a long time since we've lived in Norway, since we've been in Germany. The last time that we really lived there, it was as a couple and now we come back as a family. It's going to be a bit hectic in the beginning with creating new routines, schedules and so on. We need to find our own rhythym again and get back into contact with friends that we haven't seen in a while.

It all adds up. All these changes. I'm sure that we will handle all of these things as they come and everything will turn out fine. It just feels a bit overwhelming every now and then, and I've just got to take some time and BREATHE and it will all be fine.